By Michele Zehr
Well after last week’s challenges, I was sort of dreading seeing Mo this week. Of course in my mind there would be lecturing about the way that week went for me, but one of the biggest lessons (and hardest for me to really grasp) in this life has been that anytime I’m convinced that “someone else is going to react this way,” what is really happening is that I’m already acting that way towards myself. It’s called projection and wouldn’t you know it, when Mo came over he immediately sensed something was up. I told him I was feeling discouraged and had a difficult week with believing I’d “messed it all up.” So here’s the gift of having a personal trainer. He said, “Ok, let’s sit down and talk about this.” I explained where I was at, the types of “stories” (and they ARE just stories) I’d been telling myself, and that if I didn’t have a personal trainer, it probably would have been at this point that I hung up my hat.
He shared some of his own examples of when he just wasn’t feeling it and then held up my two pieces of paper where I track my exercise & food for the week and said, “You didn’t ruin anything. This is just a few days in a much bigger journey of time, and you didn’t mess it all up.” I had clearly lost my perspective and he really helped me regain it again. He told me he likes to have these types of check-ins every few months but that some clients feel like they are wasting money because we talked instead of exercising, but to me it was invaluable. I got my mojo back after this talk and felt much better after getting some reflection. And then he thrashed me, but as usual I was laughing through most of it.
With that said, this week was actually much better. My energy was more available, and (shhh…we can’t let this get out), I enjoyed exercising a few days too! One of my biggest self-created stressors has been this belief that my workouts aren’t always intense enough. Mo reminded me that I will have days when I just don’t feel like pushing myself completely, and what is most important is to just do something. That relieved a lot of my worry.
Also this week, I was changing clothes and for the first time caught a glimpse of my body in the mirror and could really notice how it is changing. Then I decided to try on one of my favorite outfits that I’ve not been able to wear in almost 3 years and to my delight it totally fit again!!
This week was also the week when I feel like exercising and eating healthy have finally become “habits.” I experience this shift in ways like not even thinking twice before ordering water instead of a diet soda and actually preferring water. It’s also happening in my day when I know I have a few hours between something so I know I can get my 45 minute bike ride in, and it just flows into my day instead of feeling like something I’m “adding” to my day. The time issue was also challenging at first. I felt like all I was doing was exercising and showering (when I can, I do exercises and cardio at two different times of the day), and I was feeling like I couldn’t get into my work flow. This seems to be subsiding a bit more which is a lovely feeling.
These past few weeks have been a big lesson for me. It was like just at the point I was feeling like quitting (feeling but in no way was planning to), it was a doorway to something new. This is often the case in life actually. Just when things seem hardest, you suddenly find yourself in a new situation with a new perspective, and this week what I learned was to not fear the times when I feel down about this journey. Everything is impermanent in this life….everything.
P.S. If you decide to sign up with Mo because of this blog, please mention you heard about him because of Michele’s Blog. Mo offers every customer a free session for each referral, so I’d appreciate it greatly. Thank you.